


False Memories

by ghostfruit



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociation, Gen, Human AU, It's a human au where pearl slowly loses herself, Other mental stuff, Pearl dissociates a lot and is sad, and can't tell the difference between her dreams of homeworld, and her actual life, based on some of my experiences with dissociation and bpd, i started writing this way before steven bomb 4, rn thats not my theory but im not gonna change everything i have written so, so it has rose as pink diamond and pearl as her pearl, which she believes is her real life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 07:52:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5735653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostfruit/pseuds/ghostfruit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she first met Rose Quartz, the Pink Diamond, she was in awe. Rose was the biggest person she’d ever seen, fat and massive pink curls. She was the most beautiful gem that Pearl had ever seen. Rose carried herself with a simple grace, beauty practically radiating off of her, and Pearl couldn’t help but fall in love. Rose enters her room the morning before she’s supposed to be shattered, and speaks to her like a person, instead of a machine, the first person ever to do so, and asked for her name. Pearl answers just as she was trained to do, telling her she was #134, but then Rose asked, “Not your number, your name.” And so, Pearl hesitantly answers, “Pearl,” her voice small and timid.</p>
<p>Or maybe, this is the story of a girl who doesn't know who she is anymore, who loses herself in her mind as the lines blur between fantasy and reality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_When I first open my eyes, a figure looks at me with a stern glare, and tells me who I am. “You are #134, and your job is to work efficiently as a secretary to important members of the Diamond Authority, such as myself. You will begin training in the morning.” With this, the person leaves the room, closing the door almost harshly behind her._

I wake with a start, sweat dripping down my pointed nose. I throw the covers off, and sit on the edge of my bed, hands on my knees as I lean over, panting towards the floor. I’m not sure why I’m so unsettled by the dream, but for some reason it terrifies me.

‘It’s not real, it was just a dream,’ I repeat to myself, and take a deep breath, straighten my back, and hold my head high, reminding myself to stay composed. I flip the light switch on and turn the shower dial to cold, shivering when I step under the deluge of refreshing water, the fogginess in my head clearing.

School begins the same way as always. I take the bus and arrive just a minute early, rushing to my homeroom. I sit in the front, and try to listen, even though my mind drifts to the strange world where I feel like I’m supposed to be. The bell cuts through my day dream with a start, and I mindlessly gather my things and walk to my first class. I take my usual seat next to my friend Amy while she chatters with her friend Garrett. I shush them as the teacher enters the room, and listen while she talks about trig, the words going in one ear and out the other, as I drift away.

_The next morning, at training, she’s lined up along with all the other Pearls, and then, that was the moment the nightmare began. She’s too weak for this, and unlike the others, she falls to the ground, her opponents besting her every time. Citrine, the head of the Pearl fabrication unit, tells her that she’s too weak for this, that she’s defective. She’s to be shattered in a week’s time, and the moment Citrine leaves, she breaks down and cries._

I scream, unable to deal with the fact that I will be killed the very next day, and the colors blur, the classroom coming back into view. Amy’s hand is on my shoulder, Garett’s voice quietly asking if I’m alright while the class stares at my back. I shake my head trying to clear my mind, and nod.

“I’m fine, thank you,” I say as I look at my desk, confused. ‘I don’t understand… I was just in my room back on Homeworld. Where am I?’ I think to myself. I stand up, mumbling,

“I have to go…”

I make my way to a back hallway where I go whenever I’m upset. “I don’t understand what’s happening to me. One minute I’m back in the Pearl Training Center, the next I’m in this strange room where I somehow remember everyone in it, even though I don’t at the same time,” I whisper to myself and I rock back and forth.

The rest of the day go by with a blur, people stare at me as I walk through the hallways, faces blending together until I rest my head, drifting into a familiar, sad, world.

_When she first met Rose Quartz, the Pink Diamond, she was in awe. Rose was the biggest person she’d ever seen, fat and massive pink curls. She was the most beautiful gem that Pearl had ever seen. Rose carried herself with a simple grace, beauty practically radiating off of her, and Pearl couldn’t help but fall in love. Rose enters her room the morning before she’s supposed to be shattered, and speaks to her like a person, instead of a machine, the first person ever to do so, and asked for her name. Pearl answers just as she was trained to do, telling her she was #134, but then Rose asked, “Not your number, your name.” And so, Pearl hesitantly answers, “Pearl,” her voice small and timid._

I wake, pulled out of the first good memory I’ve had in ages, Rose Quartz’s beautiful face fresh in my mind. I need to see her again, and I try to bring myself back to my real life, but I’m stuck in this strange organic place, weird false memories conflicting with the real ones from Homeworld, when a woman enters the room, telling me, “Pearl, you need to go to school, we’re leaving in 10 minutes.”

I nod, guessing that this is the response she wants. Ten minutes later, I’m sitting in a primitive transportation device, being dropped off at a building filled with young organic people. I follow people that I feel that I recognized to a small room with chairs lined and rows. I take a seat, and a tall woman walks in. My draw drops as the pink ringlets bounce with her graceful step. Her face turns towards the group, and the corners of her pink lips upturning.

“Hello! I’m your new Art teacher, since there was an, um, unfortunate incident involving the previous one. My name is Rosalie Universe, but you can call me Mrs. Rosalie. I hope you enjoy my class!”


	2. Chapter 2

“Rose … Quartz?” I whisper to myself silently, because, how could she be here, in this strange place, and why would she call herself by a false name? Amy looks at me strangely, as if she was contemplating asking me something, but she just shifts away a bit, deciding not to speak.

The highlight of my day is always that art class, when I get to see her, the most beautiful, perfect gem in the universe. I start to be just a little bit happier. The world is foggy, blurred together, but when I see her, everything is crystal clear, pink, and beautiful. I think the people who call themselves my friends, Amy and Garett, are worried about me, but I’m not sure why.

_ “Well, my Pearl,” Pearl’s heart almost melts at these words, “Would you like to come with me? I could always use some company, and I couldn’t bear to see such a kind gem shattered.” _

_ Pearl almost hugs her right then and there, but holds herself back, answering with a soft yes, and following her out of the cold, dark room. _

_ The months that follow are happy, filled with simple moments that make her heart sing. If it was anyone else, it would have taken Pearl months to trust them, but somehow, Rose makes her feel safe.  _

It feels like I’m living two lives at once, and sometimes I can’t tell which one’s real and which one’s not. One moment I’m in love, a broken gem living with a beautiful radiant one, and the next, I’m in a world filled with distrust and confusion. While I can somewhat remember the people around me, they seem like they’re from a dream, while Rose is the only real thing, even though I’m not even sure what the difference is anymore. Sometimes, after I’ve had too much to drink, I think I can tell what’s real and what’s not, and that the people who I think are fake while I’m sober are the real ones, but I usually forget those short moments of clarity in the morning. 

Rose, or as she insists every time I call her Rose, Mrs. Rosalie, doesn’t seem to recognize me, but, there’s no way that Rose doesn’t love me, that she doesn’t know me, that she doesn’t care, that she’s forgotten how she saved me from death itself. 

_ Pearl begins to learn of words whispered in basements, written on notes, telling of a growing revolution. One day, Rose comes to her room, softly rapping the door, “Pearl?” she says. “May I come in?” _

_ “Of course, what is it Rose?” As she answers, her gem glows, and the door opens. Rose stands there, smiling sweetly as she walks in and sits down next to Pearl. _

_ “Can I trust you to keep this between us?” she asks. _

_ “Of course! Rose, I would do anything for you,” Pearl assured her. _

_ “Thank you, Pearl. I have been stationed on a planet called Earth” _

_ “Why are you telling me this?” Pearl wonders aloud. _

_ She puts her arm around Pearl, and tells her, “I wanted to know whether you wished to join me. I just couldn’t bear to leave you behind.” _

_ Pearl throws her arms around her, burying her face in her mass of pink curls. “Of course Rose!” _

When I look back on what happened that night, I realize that that was the inciting incident of my life, the moment when everything changed. I knew Rose trusted me, and I trust her. 

I’m just going through the motions now, resigned to the fact that I’m stuck in this dream forever, my only escape Rose’s class. I sit in the very back of every class but her’s, and when I walk through the hallways, whispers follow me, calling me crazy, insane, etc. I let it brush off my back, they’re the crazy ones anyway. 

_ When their ship first arrives on the small planet, Pearl stands on Rose’s right hand side, the door opens, and the light flows through. At first, Pearl wrinkles her nose at the dirt on the ground, the dust in the air, and the many other imperfections, but Rose gasps in astonishment, and, as she abandons all sense of decorum, she runs into the grassy field, dancing while the wind carries her delighted giggles through the skies. Pearl smiles as she sees Rose’s joy, and thinks to herself that maybe, for Rose, she’ll give this planet a chance. _


	3. Chapter 3

Rose is so beautiful, and I treasure this moment more than any other. Rose looks so happy and free, and I wish I could look at her like that forever. After art class, I speak to Rose.

“Rose, I don’t understand, what happened to you? Why don’t you smile the way you did on Earth? Why aren’t you happy anymore?”

“Pearl, I don’t know what you mean, but I’ve never met you before this class.”

_ Their mission is to build a new Kindergarten, a place that will incubate new gems, bred for war, sucking out all the minerals in the earth for their own gain. Rose stays strong throughout the briefing, but Pearl can tell that she has doubts about damning this planet and all the people who live there. _

_ Pearl begins to hear whispers, whispers of a revolution, of gems rallying behind a great leader to fight for what they believe in. Deep down, Pearl knows that the leader has to be Rose, who cares more than anyone else, but she doesn’t let herself believe it, because if Rose was leading a revolution, Rose would have told her, right? _

The people who used to speak to me, Amy and Garett, begin to distance themselves, but I barely notice. They’re not real anyway.

_ Rose pulled her aside that very night, walking away from the camp until the lights were simply tiny specks in the distance.  _

_ “Have you heard anything about the revolution?” she asked her. _

_ “Just whispers,” Pearl replied. _

_ “Can I trust you, Pearl?”  _

_ “Of course!” Pearl assured her. _

_ “What would you say if I told you that I was leading the rebellion?” _

_ Pearl gaped at her, “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice broke halfway through, her sentence finishing in a mere whisper. _

I’m confused, I thought Rose trusted me. Why doesn’t she trust me?

_ “I didn’t want to tell you right away since I didn’t want to get you involved in something so dangerous, but I trust you and now realize that you need to make your own decision. Will you stay by my side when I speak with the other diamonds about this? I truly need your support.” _

_ “Rose, I would follow you anywhere, of course I’ll do this with you,” Pearl said. _

I’m giddy, my mood instantly brightening. Rose trusts me after all, enough for me to stay by her side! I’m so in love, Rose is so perfect, and nothing could possibly bring me down.

I was wrong.

_ “I’m sorry, but we will not be stopping Kindergarten construction. If you continue to resist us, you will be considered an enemy of the Homeworld.” With that, the two of them exited the room, the mood dim and somber.  _

The meeting didn’t go as planned, and we’ll need to fight, but what if something happens to Rose? I promise myself right then and there to do whatever it takes to protect my beautiful Rose Quartz.

“Rose, I promise, I’ll protect you no matter what,” I tell her. She looks afraid, and I’m not sure why.

_ Rose stood at the topmost floating field, Pearl kneeling in front of her. Stars twinkling behind them, strawberry fields beneath them, awash with the moonlight. _

_ “Pearl…” _

_ “Yes?” Pearl answered, her head almost snapping to look at Rose.  _

_ “I’m going to stay and fight for this planet. You don’t have to do this with me.” _

_ “But I want to!”  _

_ Rose smiled softly at her, “I know you do. Please, please understand that if we lose, we’ll be killed, and if we win, we can never go home.” _

_ “But why would I ever want to go home if you’re here?” Pearl cheeks flushed slightly with blue. Rose holds out her hand as the wind moved her curls around her face.  _

_ “My Pearl, you’re wonderful,” she says as Pearl grasps her hand, their fingers intertwining. Pearl leans in, Rose’s lips touching her own. They sit for a while, enjoying their last moment of peace.  _

That’s the best moment of my life. I’m so happy, and I suppose the person who calls herself Amy notices, since she comes up to me and tells me she’s glad that I’m acting happier. I somewhat recognize her, but not enough to really know who she is. I tell her, 

“Who are you?”


	4. Chapter 4

The next time I see Rose after our kiss, I run to her, wrapping myself around her torso and burying my face in her beautiful pink ringlets. 

“I love you…” I whisper softly. She pushes me away, and the shock and confusion is clear on her face.

“Why are you doing this Pearl?”

“I love you! Don’t you remember what happened in the field yesterday?” 

She runs away. Why doesn’t she seem to recognize me? I don’t understand…

Many battles happen, countless gems shattered from both sides, the battlefield littered with opalescent dust and tiny shards of our friends and enemies. Somehow, Rose and I, we win every one. By the end of them, I’m covered head to toe in the dust of shattered gems. I kill anyone and everyone that stands in our way, I see the terror on the enemy’s face as they see me, spear in hand, skin glistening with the colors of their friends’ gems. They call me Rose Quartz’s terrifying renegade pearl. I suppose it’s true, but I don’t care about what they say, as long as my Rose is safe.

We attack Blue Diamond’s camp, and I kill two Ruby guards, but before I can get to the third and the Sapphire that they were protecting, the two of them, they fuse. Rose and I are speechless, we’ve never seen anything like this. Back on Homeworld, only gems of the same kind ever fuse. We retreat. Soon, we find the fusion, who calls herself Garnet, scared and tired, near our camp. Rose welcomes her with open arms, but I’m a bit distrustful.

At school, I see her, I see Garnet. Finally I’ve found another gem in this strange place! I run to her, 

“Garnet! Have you seen Rose? Why doesn’t she remember us?

“Pearl, what are you doing, let go of me. Why are you calling me Garnet, it’s Garett, your friend. Why are you acting like this?”

I break down, first Rose doesn’t know who I am, next Garnet. I may not have trusted her at first, but I still consider her a friend, why won’t she act like it?

The atmosphere is tense in camp. Gems whisper of an upcoming battle, saying that this will be the last one.

_ After many battles, the final one approaches, time ticking before their eyes. The battle is devastating, countless gem shards littering the ground beneath their feet. The Crystal Gems, a once great army, drive back Yellow Diamond’s forces to Homeworld, but at the cost of their friend’s lives. Pearl stabs her spear into gem after gem after gem, not knowing who they were and not caring, because she would do anything to protect Rose. When the clouds of multicolored dust settles, Pearl leans her head on Rose’s shoulder as a tear drips down Rose’s face, the tall gem known as Garnet standing next to them, Rose Quartz’s great team, her most trusted friends, the only remainders of a magnificent and powerful organization. They return to the temple, the grand fortress of Rose’s former army. The rooms, once lively and passionate, are now empty and cold. _

Rose cries, the temple echoes with the sound of her sobs. Garnet doesn’t say a word, but I can tell that behind her shades, she’s devastated. I want to cry, to mourn the gems of were killed for Rose’s cause, but I can’t bring myself to be sad, because Rose is safe, and if Rose is safe, nothing else matters.


	5. Chapter 5

_ They go to the Kindergarten, just to check if everything is still as broken as Pearl remembers it to be. The wind howls, swirling through the bleak canyon, picking up the dust from the gems shattered here from when they stormed it to shut it down. As they go deeper, they see, identical holes carved into the cliffsides, incubator machines stuck halfway up a steep rock, stuck in the ground towering over even Rose, the tallest of the three. Something in the air stinks of darkness, and Pearl shudders, moving closer to Rose. Suddenly, they hear a slight shuffling noise, and Garnet whips her head around, confidently striding towards the source. Pearl and Rose follow, drawing their weapons, when they see her. A small purple gem is curled up inside one of the many holes, and as Rose approaches, the gem lashes out with a whip, trying to run. The find her soon after, sitting behind a rock and crying, and Rose sits next to her, comforting her and inviting her to join the remaining Crystal Gems. It takes a while, but the small gem, who Pearl now knows is an Amethyst, agrees. Pearl doesn’t understand why Rose lets her, a Kindergarten gem, a gem who was made in the place they fought so hard to destroy, join them, but since its Rose, Pearl doesn’t speak up. _

I see Amethyst at this school place, and I’m glad that I’m finding my friends here, even though Amethyst and I don’t get along very well. I don’t let her know that I’m glad to see her, so I ignore her. She doesn’t make an effort to talk to me either. I don’t understand why she looks so different and her skin is beige instead of purple. Where’s her gem? I don’t understand. 

_ The four of them stay locked up in the temple for thousands of years, but then, one night, everything changed.  _

Amethyst and I don’t really get closer, we fight all the time, except for the occasional moment where we sit in silence.

_ Pearl was in her room, reminiscing about the old times, when Amethyst began to yell at her. “What is it, Amethyst?” Pearl asks her friend, who has taken the form of a purple owl. _

_ “This long haired human was talking to me over by the fence!” _

_ “It spoke to you?” Pearl asked, tilting her head. _

_ “He was asking about Rose,” Amethyst replies. “Look, there he is!” she giggles as she turns her head towards the beach. _

This is is first human I’ve ever really seen close up. Rose used to spend time with them before the war, but afterwards, she starting to keep to herself more. I never liked being around them, so I kept my distance.

_ “Yo-” he starts to say as Amethyst flies towards him, shifting to her normal form halfway through. The human jumps, startled. Amethyst crawls towards him,  _

_ “ It's YOU! I've never seen this one around here before...Aww.. I really like your hair!” she says as she crawls underneath it, lifting it over her head. She lifts his shirt up, examining him, but Pearl runs towards her and picks her up. The human blushes and pulls his shirt back down as Amethyst giggles. _

_ “Amethyst! Leave him be! You don't know where he's been!” She turns to face the man, “I'm very sorry about this... umm... you.” _

He’s not very articulate, is he, I want to say, but I don’t.

_ Harsh light floods the temple’s entrance as the warp is activated and Garnet appears, the two bubbles floating above her palms disappear into the temple. The human whispers in astonishment to himself as his eyes sparkle, “Wow…” _

_ “Pearl, Amethyst, you’re with a human,” The tall gem says, concern just barely seeping into her voice. Amethyst replies, almost delightes, _

_ “He followed me over the fence!” _

_ “What should we do,” Pearl asks Garnet. _

I’m not very confident, I still remember my time back on Homeworld, where I was called defective, and I still let it get to my head. Garnet is so strong and wise, her decisions are better than mine.

_ Garnet strides forward to the human, “State your purpose.” Her voice is almost threatening, and the human gulps nervously. _

_ “Uhh, I was kind of looking for the mysterious pink lady? Kinda really tall, lots of big curly hair?” _

Rose! Why would this… human… want with Rose? 

 

_ “See, he’s talking about Ro-mmphhh,” Amethyst tries to say as Pearl covers her mouth with her hand, cutting her off. She leans towards Garnet and whispers, _

_ “I don’t know how to make him go away…” _

I don’t want him here! What if I lose Rose to him? What what I do then…?

_ “I’ll just throw him back over the fence,” Garnet says, picking up the human and holding him over her shoulder. The human groans in protest. _

_ “Excellent idea. Humans should stay on the other side of the fence like the sign says.” Pearl says, nodding her head and following Garnet, Amethyst trailing along excitedly behind her. _

_ “Please! No throwing!” the human yells. _

_ “Wait!” Rose yells as she hurries from the temple, the gems turning to look at her. “Mr. Universe?” _

Garnet, please, get rid of him. How could Rose know this human? Please, Rose, don’t leave me…


	6. Chapter 6

_ “It’s you!” he says. Garnet drops him and he groans in slight pain. Rose leaps toward him, landing gracefully, her skirts flowing around her as she extends her hand to help him up. _

_“Are you alright?” she asks kindly, her voice melodic to Pearl’s ears. The man, Mr. Universe, takes her hand and dusts himself off. Pear interrupts their moment, asking Rose,_ _  
__“You know this human?”_

_ “He was playing a concert on the beach, and I just couldn’t help myself.” Mr. Universe flips his hair,  _

_ “No one can ignore the universe,” he says. “Oh, I brought you this! It’s the free T-shirt that came with your free CD!” He tells her as he hands her a shirt with his logo. Rose takes the shirt, thanking him,  _

_ “Why thank you!”  _

Hmph, that shirt isn’t so great.

_ The rest of the gems crowd around her, looking at the shirt. “His gimmick is space,” she whispers to them. Pearl laughs, thinking to herself, ‘What could this human possibly know about space?’ _

He acts like he knows everything, and Rose seems so captivated by him. I hate him immediately.

_ “Play something, music man!” Amethyst yells. Garnet brings out her gauntlets, _

_ “Better make it good.” _

I want to just throw him over the fence like Garnet had suggested earlier, but no, now I have to listen to this music of his.

_ “Oh man, I’m working on this awesome new set, it’s gonna kill at my next show! Next show...” He trails off, realizing that it’s late. “Aw jeez, what time is it?” _

_ Pearl tilts her head at him, confused, “N...ight... time?” _

I don’t know what he means by what time is it. It’s clearly dark out, you can see the stars in the inky sky. Humans are so ridiculous.

_ “Yeah, Marty’s probably looking for me. We’re supposed to hit the road… Big show in a big city… And I didn’t drop out of community college for nothing!” _

_ Not understanding the meaning of his words, Pearl asks, “What?” _

_ “Well, you better hurry. You don’t want to miss your space train to the cosmos,” Rose tells him. _

_ “Okay! I’ll see you later” He starts to run off, stopping suddenly and cupping his hands to make his voice louder as he yells, “Uh, I hope the stars will align for us to meet again!” _

_ “I’m sure they will!” Rose calls back, smiling. _

How pathetic.

_ “Bye, music man!” Amethyst says, waving. The human waves back, and climbs back over the fence, landing with a thump on the other side. Rose smiles at the shirt, and Pearl says defensively, _

_ “I can sing!” Pearl wonders why Rose likes this human so much, when she has her. The gems begin to giggle, and their laughs can be heard from the other side of the beach.  _

_ “What?” Pearl says, blushing as she puts her hands on her hips. _

I’m better than any human.


	7. Chapter 7

I wake up. From what, I’m not sure, but a woman comes in to wake me up from a strange ‘bed’ as she calls it. I struggle against, arms flailing, trying to pull my weapon from my gem, but failing. I scream, confused, yelling at the woman,

“Let me go! I need to get back to the temple, I need to get back to Rose!”

 

Later, I hear a whispered conversation through the walls.

“I’m worried about her. She doesn’t seem to know who I am, she won’t stop talking about someone named Rose Quartz. I’ve never even met anyone named Rose Quartz!”

“I understand your concern, Ma’am. We will do everything we can to fix her.”

 

There’s nothing wrong with me though…

 

_ Pearl sits in the main room, not doing anything in particular, when she hears the sound of footsteps, so she stayed where she was, quiet, wondering who it could possibly be. The man from before, Mr. Universe, walks in, holding his musical instrument. _

_ “Hey, are you there? I can play for you now! I even revamped my awesome set! _

Get rid of him! I want to scream out, NO, please, Rose… 

_ Pearl stays quiet, knowing that she should leave Rose and the man alone, but she stays, why, she doesn’t know. He jumps back onto the warp pad and gets out his guitar.  _

_ “This one’s for you, mystery woman!” _

_ He begins to sing, a simple but pleasant song for Rose. _

Why does it sound so nice? I want to hate it, but I just can’t.

_ “Do you believe in destiny? Close your eyes and leave the rest to me. Do you believe in fantasy? I have to when it's right it front of me. What are you doing here? In the real world. What are you doing here? So close I could touch you. What are you doing here? And what are you doing to me?!” _

_ As the Rose’s door opens and she steps out wearing the human’s shirt, Pearl sinks to her knees, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye as she wonders what will happen next. _

Please Rose, please.

The two of them grow closer, spending more time together, Rose spending less time with me. I start to resent Greg.

 

_ To her surprise, Greg sticks around for longer than she expected. Rose has convinced them to film a ‘music video’ with them, Pearl can’t say no to Rose, but she can say no to Greg, so here she is, standing off to the side while Garnet and Amethyst play various instruments. _

_ “Everybody ready?” Greg says. “1, 2, 3, 4!” _

_ Greg and Rose begin to sing to the beat of Greg’s band. _

_ “What can I do for you? What can I do that no one else can do? What can I do for you?” Greg walks to the warp pad and gets closer and closer to Rose. “What can I do for you?” _

_ Rose moves away and sings by herself,  _

_ “Human man, you are so much fun. I hadn't planned, on finding you quite this entertaining. I like your band…” Garnet and Amethyst yell at is excitement, cheering themselves on. “.. and I like your song. I like the way, human beings play. I like playing along. Oh-woah-oh-oh-oh-woah-oh.” _

_ Greg joins her, “What can I do for you? What can I do that no one else can do? What can I do for you? What can I do for you?  _

I glare at him.

_ As Greg plays a solo on his guitar, Pearl leans against the wall bitterly. Why does Rose like him so much? What’s so special about him? Then she smiles, an idea popping into her head and goes to Rose to whisper to her. Rose smiles at her almost darkly, and takes her hand. They dance, fast, beautiful, seductive, and right as Rose lowers her lips to Pearl’s, she smirks at Greg, and they fuse into the tall, curvy, Rainbow Quartz. When they unfuse, Pearl is holding the microphone and drops it in front of Greg with a devilish look on her face. _

Fusing with Rose is my favorite thing in the entire universe. I feel so complete, happy and in love. Rose and I are finally one. I wish I could feel that forever. It never lasts, but at least I hurt Greg too.

_ “I can't believe I got that on video! What on Earth was that?!” _

_ “That was Rainbow Quartz. Pearl thought a fusion might give your video a little... something extra. Pretty cool, right?” _

_ She kisses Greg, and Pearl dies a little bit inside. “I have to go, but- are you doing anything later?” _

_ “You know I'm not,” he tries to say mysteriously _

_ Rose laughs, “You're adorable, Mr. Universe. See you later,” she says, the end of her sentence lilting seductively. _

_ Greg’s voice is full of love as he says, “Byeeee…” _

I don’t know what she sees in him. He’s not that great.


	8. Chapter 8

_ Amethyst pops up from behind him, saying happily, “Hey, I hit the drums, so pay up.!” _

_ Greg hands her a bag of popcorn, “Here you go.” _

_ Amethyst grabs the bag in her teeth and shakes her head like a dog. She pops it open with her hands, proud of her victory. _

Amethyst and I aren’t great friends, but sometimes I catch myself smiling at her antics. However annoying they are, and by extension, Amethyst herself, I still consider her a friend. 

_ Pearl stands behind him as Amethyst leaves, swinging the microphone over her shoulder, “You're just a phase. You know that, right?” _

_ Greg sighs exasperatedly. “No, I actually don't know that, Pearl.” _

_ “Oh, of course you don't. You don't know anything about Rose.” _

_ “I know she's super into me!” He says excitedly, as if he’s won something. _

_ Pearl looks at him condescendingly, “Listen, Mr. Universe. Rose may find you charming, but that's only because you're human. You're a novelty, at best.” She chuckles to herself. _

Rose wouldn’t keep him around forever. She only likes him because he’s like a shiny new toy. There’s nothing really special about him. Right?

_ “What makes you so sure?” _

_ “Well, that's simple! Humans can't fuse!” She says, singing slightly, “Fusion is the ultimate connection between gems. And you. Are not, a gem!” She says as she wraps the cord around him, twirling as Pearl touches Greg's hair and Greg blushes angrily. _

_ While he unraps himself, he says, “Well, has any human ever tried fusing with a gem?” _

_ “Uhh, noo? I don't think so,” she says, almost stunned. _

What a ridiculous thought. A human, fusing with a gem! Absolutely ridiculous.

_ “Well then, I will try!” He says triumphantly, dropping the microphone, mimicking Pearl's gesture after she had fused with Rose. _

_ “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHO!” Amethyst yells from behind as she kicks her feet back and forth. Pearl sighs, exasperated, and walks away. _

He tries too hard. Rose will get rid of him in time and come back to me. Just like she always does. Right?

_ Pearl sits behind a rock near Greg as he sets up a makeshift dance floor. The wood planks are covered in light bulbs. Pearl hears the Warp Pad activate, to which Greg smooths out his hair and puts a record on and a  _ [ _ song _ ](http://steven-universe.wikia.com/wiki/Theme_from_An_Endless_Romance) _ begins playing. Rose appears behind him, and Pearl feels almost inflamed. _

How… cute. He’s trying to set up a special date.

_ Rose laughs, “What's all this?” _

_ Greg walks up to Rose and holds hands with her, and the two begin dancing. It’s messy, but it looks like Rose is enjoying it.  Greg presses a button with his foot, lighting the light bulbs on the dance floor, the light shining on Rose’s beautiful hair, creating a striking scene. The two continue dancing until Greg stands on a stereo to gain some height, so that the two may share a passionate kiss. Rose seems shocked, leaning into the kiss. Amethyst and Garnet slide next to her to watch. _

Why would she do that? She’s supposed to save kisses like that for me. I thought she loved me. Why doesn’t she seem to love me anymore?

_ “We...we didn't fuse,” Greg says, shocked. _

_ Rose pulls away, laughing hysterically “What!? You can't fuse! You’re a human!” _

_ “I know! That's the problem! I'm just a human.” _

_ “That's not a problem! I love humans! You're all so funny!” _

_ Greg grimaces, seemingly heartbroken, “Look... these last few months have been great-” _

_ Rose interrupts him. “Oh yes,” she says seductively. _

_ “But I'm getting a little worried about the future,” he finishes. _

_ “Oh! Just ask Garnet.” _

_ “I'm starting to wonder if you... respect me?” He says, almost a question. Rose starts to giggle, _

_ “Oh, you're hilarious, Mr. Universe.” _

_ “Rose, please!” Rose ignores him, his words lost in her laughter.  _

Why would she respect you? You’re just a lowly human.

_ “Can you just-” He tries to cut in.”Talk to me for one second, like a real person!?” _

_ Rose abruptly stops laughing, shocked. The track on the record changes to a more somber tune, fitting the mood of the scene. _

_ “But… I'm... not... a real person... I thought... haven't we... is this not how it works?” _

_ “Oh... oh boy... this is so weird, you really are an alien... “ Greg starts laughing, tears in his eyes.  _

_ “Why are you laughing?” Rose asks, confused. Greg breaks down into tears.  _

Ha! I almost shout. I really shouldn’t be this happy, but I am.


	9. Chapter 9

_ “Why are you crying?” _

_ “How are we gonna make this work?” _

_ “Fusion?” _

_ “No, us. We're really, really different.” _

_ “What do we do now?” _

_ Greg: Let's just... talk. _

_ The two of them hug, and Pearl can’t hear them anymore. She can see their lips moving, but can’t tell what their saying. _

What a strange human he is.

_ Amethyst, in plain sight, waves at them. Pearl, still hiding behind the rock with Garnet, peeks out from the side before quickly hiding back. _

_ “What are they doing now?” Pearl whispers to Garnet before she shushes her. _

_ They continue to talk for a while, and then begin to dance again. _

_ “Why are they still dancing!? I-it didn't work!” Pearl says, befuddled. _

_ “Yes it did,” Garnet tells her. _

_ “What!?” _

_ “It worked.” _

_ Amethyst says happily, “I think this one's my favorite.” _

_ “I think he's her favorite too,” Pearl says sadly, trying to keep the tears from flowing. _

I wish he didn’t exist.

_ Greg and Rose seem to be serious about each other, they go out and act like normal humans in love. How pathetic. But then, one day, Rose gathers us all in her room of the temple to break the news. She’s decided to carry a child. Immediately, I know the risks. _

_ “Rose, no, you can’t! If you do this, you- you’ll die…” _

I can’t let that happen. I couldn’t live without her.

_ “Pearl, it’s alright. I know the risks, and I’m fully prepared for consequences. I want more than anything to bring a child, a half human child, into the world with Greg. I love him, you know that.” _

_ “I thought you loved me!” Pearl yelled, tears freely flowing down her face, as she runs off to her room, where she dances to forget her pain. She falls to her knees cries over the edge of the waterfall. Amethyst sneaks in after her, and silently sits down next to her. Pearl leans her head on her shoulder. Neither of them say anything, they just comfort each other in silence. _

_ That’s when they first start becoming actual friends. They never mention that moment again though. _

_ Rose’s stomach grows, and so does Pearl’s sadness. Soon, Rose gives birth to a baby boy named Steven. Pearl both hates and loves him, because while he is the reason Rose, her beautiful Rose, is dead, but she’s also a part of him. After she dies, Pearl stays in her room for months and cries, trying to keep her mind blank so she doesn’t try something desperate. _

_ When she finally gathers the courage to leave her room, she sees Greg holding Steven  while Amethyst and Garnet crowd around him. Greg’s face lights up when he sees me. _

_ “Pearl! I haven’t seen you in ages! So, do you want to see Steven?” _

_ “I-” Pearl’s voice breaks, and she shakes her head and watches him from the side of the room. _

_ After the others leave, Greg comes up to me.  _

_ “Listen, Pearl, I- I know you don’t like me, and that you blame me for Rose’s death, but I loved her too. She didn’t belong to you, and you shouldn’t take your sadness out on Steven. He’s just an innocent kid, he doesn’t deserve this.” _

_ I don’t say anything, but I nod, and he leaves. I try not to let him know that I respect him just a little bit more now. Well, maybe a lot. _


	10. Chapter 10

When Steven turns 5 years old, we and Greg decide that Steven should move into the temple. Surprisingly, Steven and Greg grew on me. Steven is just so kind and sweet, I can’t help but love him, but sometimes, he’s so much like Rose I want to cry. Greg is actually able to build a whole house connected to the temple, it’s kind of amazing. When Steven moves in, he’s shy around us, but he warms up to us, and soon the temple, no, house, is filled with happiness and laughter. Amethyst is happy to have someone to play with. She really does act like a small child, but in our terms, I suppose she is only a few thousand years old.

Steven grows, and soon enough, he wants to join us in our mission. I can’t let him, what if he gets hurt? What is he dies, like Rose? Garnet wants to let him, and eventually I agree. He keeps the mood light and fun, which is good, so that I’m not lost in my own thoughts.

The first time his gem begins to glow, he thinks it’s because of the ice cream he was eating at the time, and the others go along with it, but it really is ridiculous. Eventually, I do too, since I would do anything for him. I try to teach him how to summon his weapon, but my teachings don’t seem to really… catch on. Eventually, he does get it though.It wasn’t because of the ice cream, of course, but he’s finally coming into his own.

Months pass with misadventures and happiness, until one day, Steven accidentally reactivates the mirror. It’s only supposed to show events by using the life force of the gem trapped inside, but he actually communicates with it, and sets loose the most dangerous gem that we’ve ever seen, other than the diamonds, of course. She steals the entire ocean, raising a tower into the sky, and Steven goes to save her. I don’t want him to go, she’s so dangerous, please Rose, let me protect you, please… 

The gem, Lapis Lazuli, flies back to homeworld after Steven heals her gem. I wonder what could happen with her, but I push that thought to the back of my mind, since Steven used one of Rose’s abilities, and I’m so, so, proud.

Steven expressed interest in seeing space, and I’m so excited! I made a spaceship and we were so, so close! But looking back, I went too far. I endangered Steven. I can’t forgive myself.


	11. Chapter 11

Steven’s friend Connie’s parents have invited us to dinner. I hate dinner. I hate food, and eating, and ugh, thinking about it makes me feel sick. Steven can’t decide which of us to bring, since they think he has a normal family. We’re the opposite of normal. 

We end up fusing into Alexandrite. It’s a disaster, but it ends well. Not the fusion, we failed at that right away, but we eventually made a fairly good impression on Connie’s parents, and it made Steven happy, so it’s worth it.

Amethyst runs away with Steven. I’m terrified, where are they, what could have happened to them, I just don’t know where they are, I’m so worried. I hate not knowing things, but then Garnet says she took him there. To that horrible, horrible, place. To the kindergarten.

When we arrive, we see the two of them, just like Garnet said.

“Garnet said you'd be here, but I didn't want to believe it. Amethyst, what were you thinking bringing Steven to a,” I pause, “Kindergarten!?”

“I don't know,” Amethyst kick a pebble and looks at her feet. “We were in the neighborhood.”

“Pearl? Was Amethyst really made here?” Steven asks.

I look at her angrily, “How much did you tell him?”

“What?” Amethyst says, insulted. “You mean about the bad thing? How this bad place is where bad Gems came to grow more bad Gems? Is that what you're talking about?”

“They grew other Gems here?!” Steven questioned

“Amethyst, he's not ready!” I yell. I can’t let him know, he needs to stay innocent and young and pure.

“Oh, but don't worry, Steven. Everything's just fine now,” She says, sarcasm dripping from her voice. “Amethyst,” I say.

“It all worked out. We won!” She continues, almost mocking me for my efforts to protect him.

“Stop,”

“And we shut this place down so the Earth would be safe from parasites like me!” She yells, blinking away tears.

“Amethyst! That's enough! Steven, I'm sorry. I never wanted you to see this horrible place.”

“Then why don't you just leave!?” She growls, summoning her weapon and attacking me. She wraps her whip around me and slams me into a nearby injector. “Admit it,” She says. Her whip swings past me as I dodge, slicing through the injector. “I'm just an embarrassment to you!”

“I don't want to fight you,” I say as I summon my spear. After saying it, it sounds like a lie, and I suppose it is, just a little bit. Amethyst lashes out at me, and once again, I dodge, “I wouldn't want to fight me neither!”

I blast energy-spheres from my spear at her, and she jumps into the air, smashing her whip downwards. Steven runs towards us, telling us, “You guys, stop it!”

“Stay out of this!” Amethyst tosses her whip at Steven and wraps it around his legs and causes him to fall. I jump towards Amethyst and Amethyst tries to hit me with her whip. I dodge every swing with grace, and chide, “Amethyst, stop this! You can't beat me,”

“I... don't... CARE!” she yells, gritting her teeth and summoning another whip. She wraps the ends of both around my spear, and shouts, “I'm not gonna let you stand there and remind me of everything I hate about myself!”

Amethyst sends violet beams of energy down the whips, causing a huge explosion and powerfully flinging me against the injector. I whimper in pain and lay there on my side. Sometimes I forget how strong she really is...

“I never asked for it to be this way,” she moaned, tears falling down her face. “I never asked to be made!”

Amethyst…”

Steven interrupts, standing between us. “Amethyst, please, no more! I know you're upset, but, I can't bear to watch you two hurt each other,”

We all gasp, creaking and rattling echoing across the abandoned canyon and look up to see the Injector about to collapse. Steven heroicly summons his bubble, which only manages to cover him and I. Steven yells for Amethyst over and over while she runs away. A huge crash fills the air as the machine smashes to the ground, dust clouding our vision. I don’t know whether or not she’s okay, and I’m scared. Steven finds her in her hole, the one we found her in so many years ago.

“Go away. I'm bad, and you shouldn't be around me,” She mumbles, curling into a ball at the back of her birth place.

“What? That's ridiculous. Look, I don't know what any of this really means, but I-”

“Yeah, you don't. 'Cause if you did, you wouldn't be talking to me,” she whimpers.

“Pearl, get in here. You gotta help me,” he says, peeking in.

“You have to talk to her,” he objects before I can say no.

I slide in next to her, “Amethyst... Amethyst, I had no idea you've been upset about this.”

“What?!” She yells, affronted. “You had no idea!? This is, like, my entire existence!” She continues, gesturing to the hole. “You want to pretend that none of this ever happened! You think I'm just a big mistake!” I gasp.

“No, no. Amethyst, you're not the mistake. You're just the byproduct of a...big mistake,” I say, blushing. “No, that's not- I... I just never thought of this as you. None of this is your fault. You didn't build this place. I-I'm sorry, Amethyst. I hope you can forgive me. You're the one good thing that came out of this mess. I always thought you were proud of that,” I say, reaching out my hand

Amethyst and I exit the hole. She looks at me hesitantly for a few seconds before enveloping me in a crushing hug. I’m taken aback at first, but I hug her back, leaning into her and breathing in the scent of her.

We leave that place behind holding hands.


End file.
